In the age of social media and self-branding, we’re often told to “be the main character” in our own story — to take control, stand out, and make things happen. It sounds empowering. But as the philosopher C Thi Nguyen argues in his Aeon essay https://aeon.co/essays/why-main-character-syndrome-is-philosophically-dangerous Why Main Character Syndrome Is Philosophically Dangerous, this mindset can subtly distort how we see the world and the people around us.
“Main Character Syndrome” (MCS) isn’t a clinical condition — it’s a cultural one. It’s the tendency to view life as a narrative where we are the hero and everyone else is a supporting character. In everyday life, that can make us self-absorbed or less empathetic. In leadership, it can quietly erode trust, collaboration, and growth.
When Leaders Become the Main Character
In leadership, MCS can show up in subtle ways. A leader might find themselves taking centre stage more often than they realise — speaking more than they listen or feeling the need to direct every conversation. They might celebrate their own vision with great passion but forget to make space for the ideas and voices of others. Over time, success becomes something that orbits around the leader rather than around the team.
At first glance, this doesn’t seem problematic. After all, many leaders are visionary, driven, and deeply invested in outcomes. Yet when leadership identity becomes too entwined with being the protagonist, it can create a culture where initiative, innovation, and psychological safety begin to fade. The team becomes a cast — talented but constrained by the script. And the organisation’s story risks becoming a one-man show.
The deeper risk of MCS lies in what it does to perspective. Philosophically, it shrinks our world. Others become instruments in our story rather than co-authors of a collective one. This is particularly dangerous in leadership, where success is almost always the result of interdependence.
Organisations thrive on ensemble thinking — the understanding that value emerges from collaboration, dialogue, and the blending of diverse strengths. When leaders centre themselves too strongly, they lose sight of that delicate ecosystem. The result is not stronger leadership but a narrower kind of power, where meaning and progress depend on one person’s narrative.
As Nguyen reminds us, life isn’t a story written for us; it’s a complex system of interactions where meaning emerges through relationships. The same holds true in leadership. The most effective leaders don’t see themselves as heroes but as stewards — people who guide, facilitate, and enable others to perform at their best.
One of the most effective ways to step out of the spotlight is through a coaching mindset. Coaching requires curiosity rather than certainty, listening rather than telling, and collaboration rather than control.
When leaders coach rather than command, they shift the focus from their success to shared success. They create conversations that invite reflection, explore multiple viewpoints, and unlock insight in others. Trust grows because people feel heard, valued, and capable.
Coaching reframes leadership from “How can I succeed?” to “How can we succeed together?” It invites leaders to become directors, not actors — creating the environment where everyone can step forward, contribute, and grow.
True leadership isn’t about writing your own script. It’s about directing the story so that everyone’s contribution matters. The best leaders balance confidence with humility, clarity with curiosity, and vision with empathy.
They don’t need to occupy every scene. Instead, they orchestrate moments where others can shine — knowing that the collective performance is always greater than any solo act. When a leader stops being the main character and starts being the director, the narrative becomes more dynamic, more sustainable, and far more human.
If you’re leading a team or organisation, take a moment to pause. Notice when you feel the need to take the spotlight. Ask yourself whose voices might be missing from the conversation, and whether challenges are being treated as personal tests or shared opportunities. Reflect on how you might reframe your leadership story — from “me” to “we.”
Main Character Syndrome isn’t something to be ashamed of; it’s a cultural current we all swim in. But great leadership often means swimming against that current. Because leadership is not about being the story — it’s about helping others write their stories, together.
About SWS Coaching
At SWS Coaching, we work with executives and emerging leaders to develop self-awareness, relational intelligence, and coaching capability — helping them lead with purpose, empathy, and authenticity. Through executive coaching, leadership programmes and accredited qualifications, we enable leaders to move from directive to developmental — creating cultures where everyone has a voice in shaping the story.
Learn more at www.swscoaching.com
